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Thursday, 30 October 2008

It Starts Here, It starts Now

So to start this off this is going to be dedicated to a person who doesn’t exactly have dedications right now. Ms. Taylor Penshorn. Hey thanks for helping me realize what I wasn’t seeing. It really helped change the outlook on a couple things. I don’t know what you said but you triggered something.

Alright people. I’m going to tell you what I want you to know in the beginning of my paper rather than the last like normal. But you should still read the entire thing.

Life Is. There that’s what I want you guys to know. Life Is. Life is consisted of a lot of things. Life is unexplained on so many levels that it’s not even fathomable. It is so complex and consists of so many events, memories, feelings, wants, needs, thoughts, actions and obstacles that if you had them all at once you would feel so many things at once you would lose your mind. That’s why life is summed up so easy. Life Is. Life is what you make it people. Don’t keep blaming the hood, don’t keep blaming your dead end job, don’t keep blaming your ‘rents, don’t keep blaming God, don’t keep blaming anyone but yourself. You make and shape your life. Others can influence you, they can shape you a little but ultimately you are the one that makes the most of it. You are the only one that can feel what you are feeling. You are the only one that knows what you are thinking. You are the only one who controls your life. Sure there are rules set in place for you but are those really things that control you. You can always break the rules.

Life Is. Unexplained. But you can try to explain it as much as you want but you quickly realize what you think is a good way to describe it is thrown off by some event in your life. Although everyone knows something about life. Like I know that it’s not supposed to be wasted by chasing things that aren’t important. I know that I want to make the most of my life. Making the most of it meaning that I make it as good as possible. Spending as little time feeling bad and spend the most I can feeling really good. Alright guys I don’t know the original person who said this but in the movie “Kung Fu Panda” the master says this: “Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, But today is a gift, That’s why it’s called the Present.” I think that explains life as good as any one sentence can.

You can’t change or do anything about the stuff that happened yesterday. It’s basically set it stone. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring. Happiness? Sadness? Job offering? Death threats? New friendships? Heartbreak? A fight? You simply don’t know. It could throw anything your way. You just have to be ready. Every single day is a gift. Even if terrible stuff happens know that it wasn’t in vain. God was doing something in your life for your future. If you can point out the gift in every day and then thank Him, then your life will hardly ever feel really bad.

I write because I think a lot. I like to know everything I can about everything. When I don’t know something that I want to know then I usually try to find the answer. I’ll never know the answer to life and that’s why I write about it. I write on it because we all have it. We all have different outlooks on it. We all have different stories. We all have different memories and we all have different thoughts. That’s life. We are all unique but at the same time some of the things we have are the same. Some stories are scarily similar. Sometimes we think the same stuff. So we can help each other through things. Which is exactly what Taylor did. She helped me when no one else stepped to the plate to talk to me. To see what’s up. Why I feel like I feel. And I appreciate it. So what if we all stepped to the plate and made the world a simple and better place. Why are we as a society growing father apart from everyone else. How come we don’t want to talk to the stranger who might need a simple conversation. How come we don’t pull over to help the person with the broken down Mercedes. Is it because you think he has money and you don’t have enough? How come we don’t look for things to do to help people? I don’t know the answer but I do know that we should. I do know that we should be helping people in everyway possible.

Alright instead of telling you all my rants and raves there is something else I want to hit on. The things that make life Life. Ok? There are a few things that I have noticed make life worth living. That have the biggest impact upon a persons life. Firstly and probably the biggest is love. The four-lettered word that seals the fate of many. Good or bad. Love is an emotion that is easily capable of throwing your life in a upward OR downward spiral. Love is something that people feel but can’t accurately explain. Because that’s how it was designed by Him. Love is supposed to be something special between two people. Not something said just to say it. I encourage all of you to only say it if you mean it. And if you say it, don’t ever regret saying it. Don’t ever forget what you felt when you said it. Don’t ever forget why you said it. Alright so the second thing that I see effecting lives today is conformation. Everyone is wanting to fit it and conform to what society says is good or will make you better. People I tell you that you should be an individual who doesn’t conform. You don’t have to dress like the movie stars, buy the trash talking CD’s, do drugs, skip classes, or do everything everyone else tells you that you should do. It’s your life so live it like YOU want to. Something that I have been noticing a lot lately is that people are really insecure and far from courageous and/or confident. I have been seeing a lot of teens putting other teens names in their mouth. Talking bad about them, when the truth is they know nothing about them. I’m telling you about me. I’m the talk of the town where I walk around. I hear my name everywhere. Why? Because I’m different. Because I treat people like they should be. Because I don’t sag my pants pretending what I’m not. Because I get good grades to secure a good future. Because I’m successful and going to make my dreams come true? Guys when you see this going on. Just know you are doing something right. You should know that you aren’t conforming and others are noticing. Alright peeps, the third thing that I have noticed that effects life in a huge way is emotions. Have you noticed that what you are feeling on the inside and thinking on the inside can make your world seem so much different? I have. Recently I became oober angry at the world. And basically I saw the world as a stupid place that hated me as a person. And really 6.7 billion people don’t even know it. Stupid huh? And when I feel sad I feel like the world should be sad too. It’s dumb things like this that can effect you and everyone around you. So why wouldn’t you want to be as happy and clear thinking as you can all the time? You would want it all the time right? Well it starts now. Don’t let the weight of the world hold you down. You should be at the top of the world. Recently I started listening to a song called on top of the world. And I couldn’t stop listening to it. It is pretty much exactly what I’m trying to get across. Basically it talks about going from the bottom to the top and staying there. On Top of The World. Sounds great doesn’t it? Lets all go stand up there. All 6.7 billion people.

Life Is. Amazing. Summed up not by what we saw, what we felt and what we want. It’s summed up with the actions we take. Because it is what will define you through your ENTIRE life. We all flirt the tiniest notion, of self-conclusion in one simplified motion. It starts now with change. Together the world we have to take notice. Do it. Comment.

Pray for peace in the middle east, provide food to the hungry, give what you have and receive what you don’t, help to be helped, love to the loveless, be faithful to the faithless, show hope to the hopless for blessed will you be. Revolutions you’ll start. ~ Jay Parker

I love all the readers who actually read my posts. I thank all my friends and fam for inspiration. I love comments. A special thanks to you Tay. Don’t know what you said. But it was the right time.

Start living. Right now. Because Life Is.
Tougher than a rhino, vicious like a wolverine

Please read and comment even though its long. Thanks.

Life is a mysterious thing. Correct? You never know what tomorrow will throw at you. Life is something that holds the key to everything. Too bad everything didn’t have the key to life. Life is a game of risk and luck. You can risk it all, or you can risk nothing at all. You can be super lucky, or down on it. Life is the Most-Known Unknown that has possibly ever existed. You know it exists but you don’t know everything about it. Nobody does. That is why every life is completely unique. There is nobody in the world who’s autobiography should look like anothers. Everyone would have different memories, different outlooks, different events that shaped them.

What shapes your life? What experiences have you gone through that have made you stronger? Recently I have gone through a huge event that is going to end up shaping my life. It already has in a lot of ways. Some people know what it is and some people don’t. I’m not going to go into a ton of details. But it has shaped my life in a ton of good ways. I don’t see any ways that it has been bad. And that’s great. But it has come to an end. And that is the saddest thing. But yet. Life goes on. It always will and always does.

Guys, what happens when you go from the top of the world to holding the weight of the world? Like one moment everyone else is holding you up and the next you are holding everyone else up. Cause that is what it feels like for me. I wanted to name this note “Stronger than a rhino, vicious like a wolverine” because that’s my world right now. Like the next person who pulls my trigger, I’ll unleash a world of violence on them. They aren’t even going to know what hit them. I feel like withdrawing into my own personal space and comfort and saying screw the world. Anyone else been there? You know, you are just one person in this huge friggin world. How does one person change all that. How does one person gain attention from the entire world. By becoming the worlds biggest revolutionary its ever seen. And it starts by the way we treat people. PEOPLE GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! You don’t treat people like they are below you. No one is. You treat people like they are royalty and they’ll behead you if you don’t. You should treat everyone like that. EVERYONE! Because if everyone did that then you know what kind of world we would live in? One that would have far less crime. A world where people are less lazy and more sociable. A more personal world.

To live is to forgive. In order to live the best life you possibly can you have to forgive people. People who hurt you. People you don’t want to forgive. People you don’t even know that will end up doing something in the future. God forgave you so you can forgive them. Period. Some things are just so hard. You know what? Everything that is hard will only make you stronger when you overcome them. When you don’t let anything get you down. When you put your entire trust in God. Because you know what? LIFE is HARD. LOVE is HARD. FRIENDSHIPS are HARD. RELIGION is HARD. WORK is HARD. SCHOOL should be HARD. If you think any or all of these are easy and they don’t need work then you are sadly mistaken. All of these you have to work at. Nothing comes easy from these things. What friendship has never come across a little bridge? What Relationship has never had a point where they second guess things? What person doesn’t think that school is stupid at one point? How many times are people turing away from religion because it seems like it takes work? All of those should take work. That is what makes them WORTH THE WHILE.
People are always messaging me and asking me questions. Like why write about this or say it like that. And I say everything to just point out the Lord in everything. One way or another. Because if I can change one person’s thinking about him, maybe save one person from eternity in Hell then maybe I could do it more and more. Like a domino. He does have a plan for everyone in life. He is destiny. He is karma. And he really doesn’t restrict you from doing anything you already do. He restricts How you do it. Or Why you do it. Would you rather life for Him and then find out it isn’t true and have lived a basically good life? Or would you rather live in a life of sin and find out that He is real? Not even atheists can argue that one. Because it doesn’t say you have to believe it just good and bad. Plain and simple.

When it comes to the topic of love I thought that I had stuff figured out. And I still think that I do. I think that others don’t. I don’t think that others are bad at it. I don’t think that they are incapable of feeling it or knowing what it is. I think that they don’t understand the impact that it should have upon someones life. When you say it. You should mean it. Not everyone does but you should. When you say it, you should feel something along with it. When you have it, you should never let it go. When you know it, it only grows. Love is something no one has been able to accurately 100% describe. Its impossible. Because as humans we are incapable of completely understanding it. Its such a big thing that we just can’t handle it all. If we felt what God feels for us then I’m pretty sure some of our hearts would stop. I think we would have a love-overload and die…Happy… haha. Love is something that people ask themselves everyday if they have. They ask is it right. Do I love or do I don’t. Love is a feeling that can completely incapacitate me if I let it. Seriously no joke. I can get so caught in it that I don’t see anything else. It gives me something to focus upon. And when I don’t have it, I can focus on the straight bad things. Making me vicious like a wolverine. Making me just want to punch people and kick kittens (sorry bad example) but seriously, I feel horrible. I start fights, I absolutely dwell on the bad things of life. And then I play a pity game and just start blaming things. This and that and even myself. When you have that one person who just means so much. How can you let them go? Well. I’ll tell you when I find the answer. You let them go… bye… accepting that it’s Gods will. Because he does what is necessary to shape and mold your life for the future things to come.

The point of writing this was mainly to vent. The second main thing was to get some comments and start a little conversations. For those of you that don’t know me. Get to know me. For those of you who have problems. Talk to me. For those of you who love, keep it. For those of you who hate, lose it. For those of you who are happy, don’t let anything get you down. For those of you who are hopeless, God will give you hope, For those of you who read this, comment. Thank You.

PRAY FOR THE WORLD, PRAY FOR STRENGTH, BE A LEADER, GIVE HELP TO THE HELPLESS, GIVE HOPE TO THE HOPELESS, SHINE A LIGHT FOR THE LOST, SHOW THE WAY FOR THOSE WHO WANDER, PROTECT THOSE WHO ARE UNDER ATTACK, LOVE LIKE THERE IS NO ONE ELSE, FIX THOSE WHO ARE BROKEN, AND ABOVE ALL… LIVE! ~ Jay Parker

Dedicated to my wonderful friends who are always by my side to talk to, to counsel with to love to trust and who are always by my side. When I look to the East, I see Sami, Maegen, and Trevor. When I look to the West I see Taylor, Sean, and Adrienne. You guys encompass me. You guys support me when I’m weak and provide the support I need to make it through anything that gets thrown at me. And when you guys have problems know that you can always come talk to me. I would never turn any of you away. And lastly, Tara, even though we are no longer a couple. I hope that we’ll remain good friends. I don’t want to not have you in my life. Because you did make a huge influence upon my life. All of my friends have. And that’s what keeps me going. I hope that all of you will always be in my life. We’ll be like the the the… COOL KIDS CLUB: Population Us. Haha. Love you guys. Talk to me and comment!! Peace

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Currently Listening
The Art of Breaking
By Thousand Foot Krutch
Absolute and Move
see related
Don't cry

If your going to read this, get some tissues.

She jumped up as soon as she saw

the surgeon

come out of the operating room. She said: "How is

my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can

I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could,

but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer?

Doesn't God care any more? Where were you,

God, when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time

alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out

in a few minutes, before he's transported to the

university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she

said good-bye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly

through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse

asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the

boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to

Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to

donate his body to the University for Study. He

said it might help somebody else. "I said no at

first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after

I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend

one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My

Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of

someone else. Always wanting to help others if he

could."

Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for

the last time, after spending most of the last six

months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's

belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The

drive home was difficult. It was even harder to

enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings,

and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her

son's room. She started placing the model cars

and other personal things back in his room exactly

where he had always kept them. She laid down

across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried

herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying

beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The

letter said:

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but

don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop

loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE

YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with

each day. Someday we will see each other again.

Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you

won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can

have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you

decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't

like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy

her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be

sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place.

Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got

here and showed me around some, but it will take

a long time to see everything. The angels are so

cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know

what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures.

Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus

himself took me to see GOD! And guess what,

Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him,

like I was somebody important. That's when I told

Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you

good-bye and everything. But I already knew that

wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God

handed me some paper and His own personal pen

to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name

of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to

you. God said for me to give you the answer to

one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He

when I needed him?' "God said He was in the

same place with me, as when His son Jesus was

on the cross. He was right there, as He always is

with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what

I've written except you. To everyone else this is

just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have

to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write

some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I

get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm,

sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore.

The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't

stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to

see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent

The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel

said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

(Let's see Satan stop this one.) Take 60-seconds

and repost this, within the hour, you will have

caused a multitude of believers to pray to God for

each other. Then sit back and feel the Holy Spirit

work in your life for doing what you know God

loves

"When you're down to nothing, God is up to

something."

i love this story!

title this:

this is beautiful, try not to cry

Currently Listening
Ropin' the Wind
By Garth Brooks
see related

Poem

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp--
the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics, the trash

There stood the kid from seventh grade
who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
was rotting away in hell,
was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
looking incredibly well .

I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

"And why's everyone so quiet,
so somber? Give me a clue."
"Hush, child," said He, "they're all in shock.
No one thought they'd be seeing you."

Judge NOT.

Saturday, 01 March 2008

Life

Life is to be learned from and above all lived. Life is a game of risk and luck. Sometimes your luck is down and out and you have to make a lot of sacrifices in your life. Other times, your luck seems like it could never run out and you are just living it up. You write the history books of your life as you live. You also determine your future. Stuff you do today does/can effect your tomorrow. Many kids and teens these days just don’t seem to get that. I don’t even get that all the time. Like not turning in homework will make your grades go down. Or getting in a car crash might change the way you drive forever. Perhaps you’re a child who was abused, you may not trust anyone the same way as you did before. Everything happens for a reason. If life hands you lemons you have to make it lemonade, even if its not good lemonade. You have to decide where you want to go in your life. You have to decide what you want to do with it now or you will miss out on it in your future.

Life is a timer and it ticks away regardless if you want it to, it can be over in the blink of an eye. So I would live life as if today was your last day to live. Take chances and do what you never dreamt of doing before. Live as if you were never going to see tomorrow. Now suppose you knew that you were going to die tomorrow and there was simply no way to avoid it. Would you not have done a certain something today? Would you have done a certain something different? Would you go get scared and overcome a fear? What would you do? I know that I would live like none other. I would do everything that I never did. I would straighten out some grudges I have with a few people. I would say my goodbyes to my friends and family. And make the most of my life in the little time that I had left.

So when it comes to life where are you going, and where do you want to go? Do you need to do a 180 on a one way road that could very well lead to your destruction? Or are you on a road that will lead to happiness and everything you could imagine? Now just go out and live as if you were dying. If you live like that, you aren’t going to worry about small stuff in life that won’t matter much in your future. You will care more about the people around you. You might notice the flowers on the old time country-road. You will live life to the fullest and you will walk like you talk and will just be better overall. Now I will leave the rest of your life up to you to decide.

Lastly if anyone wants to suggest future topics feel free cause I am slowly running out. Also if someone just wants to talk, if they need a ear to listen, a person who actually responds and cares, and above all is trustworthy. Then just know anyone can come to me.

Thanks

Angel ~ Aka Jay Parker ~ Giving words of wisdom